Dearest Cat People: You are Stupid...though actually, cats are lovely

This posting is in direct opposition to a certain friend who, on being forced to read a blog post almost entirely about attractive, conservative Irish men, looked at me with distain at the single, solitary mention of dogs: Why do all your postings have to be about Puppies??

Well, Crabigail, this is why…Puppies are amazing.

Puppies are fluffy, and small, and when they fight with each other they make the noises of a beached walrus. Yesterday, they each lay on my bed, with their paws in the air, wanting to fight but unwilling to move across the two feet that separated them, and so instead just stared at each other, opened their mouths wide, and wiggled. Puppies flail their paws at each other flamboyantly, just because, and get confused when squirrels appear on tv.

Puppies love you. They lick your hair when you come out of the shower, and climb six feet of furniture to make this happen. They stand on their legs and jump when you come home from work, or the yard, or the bathroom, because they just like seeing you. Sometimes, they lick your face while you sleep, which I find a little creepy, though that doesn’t happen often. Mostly, they just stare at you adoringly, hoping you’ll wake up and play with them, soon.

I love you, adorable puppies, and I will write about your fluffy joy until my fingers fall off, crappy cat people be damned.

(I love you too, Crabigail.)