The Wonders of the Modern World

Alright, yesterday’s entry was a downer. Yesterday was a bit of a downer, as a whole, and after a night of dreaming about volcanoes, dinosaurs, and child molesters (seriously…wtf, subconscious?) I decided it was in my best interest to dwell on much happier thoughts.

Thus, I present:

The Wonders of the Modern World (in the form of Daisy Razors!)

Ten years ago, I began shaving my hairy pubescent legs. There were two options available in girly pink: a single bladed, crappy razor, or a double bladed, crappy razor. That was all.

Today, I find myself fascinated by the noise of my new, kickass five blade girl razor as it glides across my leg stubble (it sounds a bit like those toy cars from McDonalds that you pull backwards to charge their manual motor…whirrrrrrrr…no? Nobody?). But I digress…Five blades. Five! Who the hell has hair on their legs worthy of five blades? Never mind what’s available in the boy-razor department, which has always been one step ahead of the girls; with those new trimmer blades for sideburns…what are those, seven blades now? Crazy!

I should also mention that my razor, which is purple and covered in sparkles, mounts seamlessly onto the wall of my shower through the power of suction cups, and has a storage bin containing extra razor heads…wow. Appreciating the wonders of advancing technology has turned shaving my legs into a magical experience.

Case and Point: A short two hundred years ago, back in pioneer days, only pretty boys shaved anything at all, and they did it with a giant knife-like razor blade that would slice the throats of the incompetent. People bathed but once a week, and only women washed their hair, monthly, using an egg. Think of how far we have come in terms of hygiene. The future is now, people, and it is a beautiful, unsmelly time.