5. If you spend your entire weekend making wind chimes, you will end up with an excess number of wind chimes.
4. If you start telling people about your excess number of homemade windchimes, people will think that you’re odd.
3. If you’re starting to feel like people are conspiring against you, it’s probably just schizophrenia. Nobody cares about you enough to sabotage your every move.
2. If you look and smell like a giant salt and vinegar potato chip (quite literally, thanks to a liberal dosing of Apple Cider Vinegar on your unwashed hair), that is the exact moment that an attractive Olympic athlete will try and talk to you. (It was an improptu puppy walk before I jumped in the shower, he was inprobably at the bubble tea place ten feet from my house...)
1. You don’t need to possess testicles for God to kick you in the balls.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
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1 comment:
5. Give away wind chimes!
4. You are odd. This is not necessarily bad.
2. Bubble tea is stupendously disgusting.
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