Awww....er....Ahhhh!

Somewhere, at this very moment, deep in the darkest alley of Vancouver's underworld, there is a small, frail elderly woman. She's about 5'3" and weights maybe a hundred and twenty pounds. And she is, apparently, going to kill me.

This fact, along with a number of colourful adjectives, was relayed to me last week as I attempted to evict said woman from the premises, following a series of escalating aggressive behaviours. I did ask nicely. I tried to be patient. But I daresay, she was not impressed.

After finally leaving the building, she returned, repeatedly, each time encountering different staff members, to whom she relayed the list of individuals who had wronged her. Afterwards, she often added their names to her list.  There were a few more threats, including a vow to turn one coworker into mincemeat. And then she was gone, much like a small, elderly, terrifying nightmare.

As small and frail and she may be, I have no doubt of her ability to kick my ass and/or turn me into a pie. And while this fact is more than a little embarrassing, it is also really terrifying. I am scared of this tiny abusive woman. And she's out there, somewhere, waiting.

I know that she remembers me, because each time she returned she kept mentioning how much she hated me to other staff. She didn't know my name, so she called me, "that skinny one who smiles all the time. She's dead!"

Which...aww. That's the nicest death threat I've received in a long, long time.

...I'm scared.