Fruit Medley

Everyone’s a perfectionist. Some people are just better at it than others.

It had been the worst morning ever. Now, I know what you’re thinking - what about that morning my father died, and then I had to sit in the car with my socially obstinate grandmother for three hours on the way to and from getting a painful root canal. Well, that was pretty bad. But…whatever. This morning sucked, too.

I've just had a two foot cable shoved up my nose, attached to a camera, so that a doctor could tell me there's nothing wrong, and also, I have hearing loss. Fuck you, 7:30a.m. doctor's appointment in God-forsaken Burnaby.

I arrived for work, an hour and a half late. I walked in to our morning meeting near tears. My coworkers looked concerned, "Don't be upset....Nobody really cares whether you're here or not."

Editing the newsletter and printing out a sample copy should have taken me five minutes. Two hours later, I found myself on my knees in front of the photo-copier pleading “Hubert,” (I had named the photocopier Hubert), “for the love of baby Jesus, just tell me what’s wrong...” Three paper jams, three different computers, two printers, one photocopier, and a brief intervention from my boss later, I gave up. I hate technology.

Worst. Morning. Ever.