Economics of Garbage

Every day, people get rid of crap they no longer want or need. Some of that crap makes it way towards me. (My life, in a way, is a black hole of crap.)

As the occasional sorter of occasional donations for a women’s shelter, I find myself sifting through various assorted crap that someone deemed worthy of dismissal. And while certainly this is no objective measure of the things that people are throwing away, it’s probably worth noting - some items are showing up a lot more than others.

We can learn via such items - especially in these tough economic days of underemployment, sleeping till noon, and spending afternoons lazily laying on the beaches of Vancouver. Such are the markers of very hard times. And as I have formulated some vague opinions and regularly write on my opinionated blog, I am presenting these findings, somewhat incoherently, to you, the entirely imaginary reader.

Please, enjoy.

1. Stop buying new clothes.

Trust me, you have enough clothes. You really, really do.

And a lot of barely worn clothes are being thrown away, every day.

If you DO need to get rid of clothes, give them to some sort of charity, of course. And if you’re giving your clothes to a charity, it may even be worth it to make sure they’re going directly to the needy instead of generating income via a thrift stores and hipsters, if you feel so inclined.

But, before you do any of those things, stop buying new clothes. Especially shirts. There are far too many unloved shirts in the world. And if you can’t stop buying new clothes, then please at least stop buying new, ugly clothes. You do not need them. You do not want them. They do not look good on you, or homeless people, or anyone else. Stop. Just, please, for the love of god, stop.

2. Stop buying TVs

No one donates old TVs to drop in shelters…but that is because they are heavy, and people are lazy, and back alleyways generally seem to be the most convenient dumping site. Nonetheless…

There are a lot of TVs in the world. No less than two years ago, the number of television sets in the United States surpassed the country's population…and this was before the advent of affordable flat screens (though, arguably, a few of those sets were lost in the transition to digitized methingemajiger…but given purchasing trends, such sets were likely replaced by a new, affordable flat screen. Or two.)

If you do not have a tv, then you likely have a friend, neighbour, or Craigslist compatriot who is getting rid of their own set, which you can have for free. And if you must have a new flatscreen, bear in mind that the prices will likely continue to decline, and that if you wait six months, you could likely pick up on of those for free, too. Or you could just watch tv on your computer, if you want.

Such are the options in these complicated times.

3. You do not need a hairdryer, a hair curler, a hair straightener, and you definitely do not need an intricate combination of all three.

Or, maybe, you do. But the number of hair dryers currently occupying our shelves suggests that our city has a trend of buying hair appliances which they do not use. And I’ll admit, I am guilty of this treason, too, because the idea of curling my hair is much nicer than the actual act of curling my hair...or drying my hair...or doing anything accept complaining about my ridiculous hair.

4. Stop buying scarves.

There seems to be some confusion here...Scarves are not disposal. They can be reused.

Also, seasons tend to repeat themselves - even though it is hot today, it will likely be cold, and rainy, in approximately two months. And then you will go out and buy a scarf exactly like the scarf you gave away in July when you couldn’t fathom a use for this bizarre elongated piece of cloth….just…

Society, you fail. Fail.

5. Stop accepting pennies.

Despite my protests, they persist in society. Try harder, people! Their scourge of the copper must end.

6. Nobody ever uses foot cream.

No one wants your unused foot cream. No one wants foot cream as a stocking stuffer or random gift. No one ever uses foot cream. It is a useless product. Whoever you are, please, stop buying it.

That is all.