Ode to Mary Poppins

Dearest World,
I am at a loss for words today.

During a bout of singing off-key in the shower, I stumbled upon the following song of amazingness, seared into my brain after watching the live musical production of Mary Poppins night after night during my three months in London (I worked as an usher, or front of house staff, and had to 'supervise the audience' every night and matinee). This may be a poor substitute for a post, and is certainly better in person, where I can show you the choreographed dance that I memorized, in which I spell out the corresponding letters with various flailed limbs. However, it's the best I can do after a 15 hour workday of death yesterday and my eight hour shift (also of death) today. Therefore, I present:

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: an essay on the word's potential historic uses and superior lexical abilities

When trying to express oneself, it's simply quite absurd to leap through lengthy lexicons to find the perfect word. A little spontaneity keeps conversation keen. You need to find a way to say precisely what you mean. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

When stone-age men were chatting, simply grunting would suffice, but if they’d heard this word they might’ve used it once or twice. I’m sure Egyptian Pharaohs would have grasped it in a jiff, then every single pyramid would bear its hieroglyph. Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, even though the sound if it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough you’ll always sound precocious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

The Druids would have carved it on their mighty monoliths. The Ancient Greeks, I’m certain, would have used it in their myths. I’m sure the Roman Empire only fell into abyss because those Latin scholars never had a word like this. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: if you say it softly the effect can be hypnocious. Check your breath before you speak in case it’s halitocious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

So if the cat has got your tongue, there’s no need to dismay. Just summon up this word, and then you’ve got a lot to say. Pull out those eighteen consonants, and sixteen vowels as well, and put them in an order which is very hard to spell.