Life Skills I Lack

I cannot drive a car. As such, I cannot parallel park, or change a tire, or even pump gas. I’m pretty confident I could figure that last one out, in a pinch, but the rest remain elusive. I don’t live with my parents, so I don’t have access to a car on which to learn (or any local, easily coerced relatives willing to teach me). Car school is really expensive, and I am equally lazy. I’d need a new license, since I’m from out of province…It’s an intricate tapestry of excuses.

During my second year of university, my boyfriend was driving me to meet his parents. He still lived at home - we were in his mom’s SUV. He looked at me earnestly as we discussed making a good impression: “Just don’t mention you can’t drive, okay?”

I should probably be ashamed. I can hem and haw and argue about sustainability and urban living - but, truth be told, those reasons do not hold up in court. I’m finding my way around the non-profit sector, and not having a driver’s license (or access to my own vehicle) has been the largest obstacle in landing jobs. This seems odd, next to my lack of B.A. (or MSW, which looms ahead as an abbreviated foreshortening of my future). But education is a composite of lot of things, and a driver’s license (and vehicle) is not. It cannot be substituted for. It is the most reliable way to get from Point A to Point B.

It's also expensive. It’s a bureaucratic, annoying process which will literally take years. And it’s not like I can afford a car, anyways - I work in the non-profit sector. It’s all very Catch-22.

On the other hand, the new sky train line is opening three months early - Yay! True, these three months are the difference between September and the start of November (the previous estimate), which my limited math skills tell me is only two months early. (What do I know, I can't even drive). AND the November estimate was a eight month delay on previous estimates, which promised the line would be open by Spring - er, now. Those were the estimates in place when I signed the lease on my current apartment, which is blocks away from the line - so all twelve months of my year long lease will reap only construction, and no actual rapid transit. But enough of that - beggars cannot be choosers, and in the world of mixed driving metaphors, non-drivers and beggars are one in the same.

Note: I now know how to spell ‘bureaucratic’. It’s kind of like ‘burro,’ which is Spanish for donkey - I like it. Also, the Dutch word for donkey is ‘ezel.’ Now you know.