In summary

Monday
I estudio’ed some serious español.

Tuesday
An epic case of the grumpy-pants was cured through liberal application of Justin Bieber songs on Glee. It was freaking adorable. And now I have Justin Bieber songs stuck in my head, which makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and kind of creepy. I am not a pedophile.

Wednesday
A client at work pays me the best compliment ever: “You know who you look like? Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” It may have been a backhanded comment about my hairstyle being a decade out of date but, sir, you have made my day.

Above: Me, apparently! Killing things!

Thursday
I begin the day by grabbing the wrong keys on my way out the door, and then spending the next half hour locked outside my apartment building, with the dogs, wearing my pajamas, waiting to be let back inside by a neighbour with pity in their heart. It was cold, and I was tired, and it was sad.

I then rushed off across the city to the super important conference I needed to attend, only to find that the location had changed, and that I, along with five other confused and incompetent adults, had failed to get the memo. We eventually arrived (an hour late) at the correct location which, of course, was less than five blocks from my home. Also, it was raining heavily throughout all of the above events. I hate everything.

Friday
I spent my Friday evening alone, watching Merlin (of the BBC), eating Haagan Daaz, and doing laundry. This may be the very definition of wasting my youth. That being said, not a bad night.

Saturday
A five year old daughter of my colleague gave me a belated Valentine’s day card and accompanying Hershey’s Kiss as a thank-you for a random knitted dragon I gave her a month ago. Her cuteness makes me squee with joy.

Also, all of the small children I know are locked in a fierce competition, in my head, for the title of Most Adorable Child Ever. Move over, three year old who introduces himself as Spiderman, we have a new competitor, and she gives out Thank You Valentine’s.

Polite children are adorable. So are yawning hedgehogs.

why I'm a people person

My day began when my dog decided he had to vomit, and then did. The vomit was copious and brown in colour. It spread across my couch (which is also my bed), and then dripped down onto the bag that I had packed for work.

I then realized, with growing horror and nausea, that the vomit did not smell like vomit at all. It smelled like poo. Gross, ingested, regurgitated poo. It seems my dog had at some point ingested some of his own feces, and then vomited those feces up, all over my couch/bed.

I looked at my dog with disgust. He looked at me with love, and wagged his tail a little.

I went to work.

I should have known that a day that began with dog diarrhea-vomit was not going to go well, but I tried to be optimistic. I sang off-Broadway show-tunes to myself and greeted the world (which was rainy) with a hopeful, cheery smile.

And then the diarrhea-vomit continued (metaphorically this time). We were short staffed, short on management and support, and our clients were short on understanding. Various crises arose, to be quashed down and then arise again like mythical movie monsters. By three p.m., I had threatened to kill two people.

And if the words, “I want to stab you in the aorta with a butter knife,” don’t convey unconditional compassion and understanding, I don’t know what does.